Messages From Carrie
Before and After
April 27th, 2009
There are experiences that frame our lives, marking our days by before and after. These are the events that profoundly or subtly change how we see the world. These experiences may be tragic or joyous, small or large. Once a was walking in an open field and a large hawk feather floated down in front of me, but when I looked up but there was no bird. Once I saw an august sky filled with falling stars. One morning my daughter was born, another morning my mother passed away. In a busy breakfast room, an aging poet read me a Mary Oliver poem. He read to me, “Make yourself into a flame.” I recited, “I do not know how to pray, but I know how to pay attention.” He smiled with his white hair glowing in the morning light and I knew I would never be the same.
Before and After
By Carrie Newcomer
The dust settles after a hit and run
Bewildered by the damage done
I don’t know why we chose the roads we travel
Or how a life could get so unraveled
Chorus: we live our lives from then until now
By the mercy received and the marks on our brow
To my heart I collect what the four winds will scatter
And frame my life into before and after
Once a trick of light made me believe
A red fire was blazing from every tree
We held hands as the evening gathered
I forgave myself for what I didn’t ask her
I once saw the sky filled with falling stars
Bumped my head in the darkness and it left a scar
I held on too long before I let it go
And forgave my myself for what I didn’t know
Chorus: we live our lives from then until now
By the mercy received and the marks on our brow
To my heart I collect what the four winds will scatter
And frame my life into before and after
I stretched my soul over fifty states
Lived on fumes and religious cornflakes
I dreamt my shoe grew thin and battered
I forgave myself for what didn’t matter
Chorus: we live our lives from then until now
By the mercy received and the marks on our brow
To my heart I collect what the four winds will scatter
And frame my life into before and after
God said Cain where is your brother
And who will tell his grieving mother
Jacob dreamt an angel called his name
And he never was the same
Chorus: we live our lives from then until now
By the mercy received and the marks on our brow
To my heart I collect what the four winds will scatter
And frame my life into before and after